It's The What I Did

First of all I want to thank the Academy for my nomination in the Best Supporting Actor category for this year's Oscars. My excellent work in the A To Me If production of 'In Passing' deserved the plaudit. Thank you. Matt Dillon, you're going down, son.

If only I could record my voice on this computer I would, to say a belated 'Happy birthday to ya, Happy birthday to ya. Happy Birthdaaaaaaay'. That is to Stuart P. Costen who joined the 22 club yesterday. Well done sir. It was probably Gail Hudson Walker's birthday too, but that doesn't matter. By the way Tom, we're all having a 22 club gathering in a couple of weeks if ya wanna c...oh, actually forget that. I forgot.

At the end/start of an old/new month, here is a kind of 'Adam Marshall's trip to the United States of America: A Review'. I'll warn you now, it's gonna be really dull.

Things that have I have found annoying:

- Gym employees outside their places of work offering me leaflets and telling me to "Stay Healthy" with a muscley smile.
- Black gangster types asking me whether or not I am pimpin'. If my reply is "I am indeed pimpin'. Thanks for asking", then their questions continue by enquiring as to just how many hos I may or may not have.
- Large groups of people blocking 'sidewalks'.
- People who complain far too much, especially on transport. "I'm too hot"; "I'm too cold". "This seat is too soft"; "This seat is too firm". "That baby is crying too loudly"; "That baby isn't crying loudly enough".
- Seattle being too cold.
- Miami being too hot.
- Places still playing Christmas songs.
- John Baker
- Having to converse with a yank, a frog, and a German bastard - all at the same time.

Things that I have found funny:

- Going in to really nice restaurants during their happy hour (50% off) and still ordering the cheapest thing on the menu. The waiting staff look at me as if I had just vomited over the arms of their first born child. It's great.
- My brother, Ben's, heel turn.
- A conversation I had with a Bostonian in a Miami hostel:
Him: So where are you from? Michigan or something.
Me: No, I'm English.
(Later) Him: Hey, you speak pretty good English.
Me: Yea, well I am from England.
Him: Oh. I'm never sure what you speak over there. I was thinking Dutch.
- People using the word 'Outstanding' excessively.
- Absolutely burning this barman who was chatting up a waitress in a bar I was in last night. He suffered.
- Horrible wrestling fans who think they know everything but are blatantly idiots. Kinda like J2O and Jack Steele.

Songs I have enjoyed:

Weezer; Across the Sea
ELO; Mr Blue Sky
The Rifles; Peace + Quiet
The Darkness; Growing On Me
Interpol; Not Even Jail
Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass; Spanish Flea

People I have inexplicabley dreamt about:

- Richard Skinner and Tom Erskine; the three of us went on a road trip. I thought this strange since those two absolutely hate each other.
- Alfonso Ribeiro; he plays Carlton in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
- Catherine Alexander; she was asking me to help her with an application form for a job.
- Katie Holdstock's sister; I forget her name, the blonde one, only a few years younger than us, a bit tasty, you know.

That's it. Gosh, that was long. And dull, just as predicted.

Kind regards.

Adam Marshall