A Good Day

They say you should try something new everyday. They will be very happy with the Midnight Devil then. Today, for the very first time in my life, I drunk tea while going up an escalator. I liked it and in fact I may one day endeavor to repeat the feat. It really set me up for the day well; after I had done it I felt that nothing could ruin this day. A gangster could have shot my head out with a Glock 17 and you know what, it wouldn't have dampened my mood one bit.

Whilst trekking around Washington I chose to do a robot walk as I crossed a particular road. This, as opposed to the above, is of course something I've done many, many times. However, usually it is just for my own amusement. Today though it also made a fellow crosser laugh with child-like delight. Good for her I thought, here is a woman who doesn't feel even the slightest embarrassment at giggling uncontrollably at a weird little 22 year old English fella impersonating an automaton as he crosses a freeway. I respected her in an odd way.

I've been nailing the sights. The Lincoln memorial, the Jefferson memorial, the Washington monument. Yawn. Yea, U.S. presidents are a lot of fun and all, but do we have to build costly (to time, money, and space) mementos to some half-arsed job they did over a hundred years ago. The answer is no, obviously. What was awesome though, was the Franklin Delano Roosevelt memorial. That guy really is the don. He had polio (look it up; you won't) dammit, and he still ruled harder than anyone else. It had some awesome FDR quotes an' all: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself". I give you genius ladies and gentlemen. Here is a statue of he in a wheel chair. And no Hilly, the black guy with the dreads in the BBC adverts is not cooler than FDR. Idiot.

Also I went to the White House. They didn't let me in.


I was gonna stay here for a bit too. I didn't fancy paying the 279 bucks for a night though. So I didn't get to see Nixon; or Nixon's head; or Nixon's head on a robotic body.



Yesterday was also a good day. I went to the Capitol which is the equivalent of our Houses of Parliament. Went to the House of Representatives bit where Bushy boy did his State of Union Address last week. Also I went to the Senate where I was lucky enough to see the senators in action doing a vote about asbestos or something. What the problem was with the popular kitchen cleaning product, I don't know. But it was cool. John Kerry (the dude trying to batter Bush in the last election) minced in. Tall fella though. Much taller than Hillary Rodham Clinton who also turned up. In a fight, I reckon he'd batter her. She came really close to the viewing gallery. Any closer and I woulda been able to Swanton Bomb her, and then while she was down I could have locked her in the Midnight Snack and made her tap out like a little girl. Bam.

That's all I need to say I reckon. Oh, apart from that Hillary Clinton is a bit foxy. Tell me I'm wrong. You know you can't.

Kind regards.

Adam Marshall