The City of Brotherly Love: A Review

I left Philadelphia yesterday. This was done with some regret. I really like the place; for these reasons:

1. The history. For example, I saw where the Declaration of Independence was actually signed in 1776. You have to realise the magnitude of that. That was the exact moment where the U.S. severed ties with Brits and let us get on with things without their burden. That's not a bad thing, it's a good thing.

2. The people that I met. Allow me to give a brief run down:
- Dan the proverbial man. He was a lank haired 'soccer' (shudder) fan. I scored his 'cell phone' (shudder) number, not in a gay way. Obviously.
- Nicole. A delightful looking blonde redneck. She liked talking to me because we both study/ied law, and because I showed interest in a book that she's writing. I liked talking to her because she was a delightful looking blonde. You know why, because I'm a bloody bloke.
- Brit & Brian. Twins apparently. Actually I think Brian was a little slow. Brit asked me if she was a 'bird' with a badly constructed and poorly rehearsed English accent. I so much wanted to reply 'I don't know, it's difficult to tell these days', but I thought that was unadvisable from a guy traveling alone and trying to meet new people.
- John and Tommy (or Taw-mee, as I understand it was to be pronounced). These were a couple of New Yorkers. Thoroughly good guys. John was an ex-movie producer. Plus he looked like an Italian version of Ben Groom, if anybody knows who Ben Groom is, so he was alright by me.

3. Philly Cheese Steaks. The local dish. Basically a steak sarnie with a bit of cheese on, but still tasty. I got mine from a place voted best Philly Cheese Steaks 2001, and they certainly hadn't let their standards drop in the last 5 years. Good work boys.

4. The little coffee shops, delis and boutiques. I'm not gay or owt, but I like stuff like I just mentioned to the left there. John Baker would probably quote from the film '40 Year Old Virgin' at this point and say ''I know you're gay because you like little coffee shops, delis and boutiques". In response, I would have nothing.

5. John Baker (shudder) wasn't there.

6. A shop selling the best/worst t-shirt ever. You too can see the best/worst t-shirt ever. I've helpfully displayed a photo of the aforementioned garment below.


But I'm in Capitol City now. D.C. baby. It seems nice as well. Some guy offered me some weed just now on the street, not in a seedy way, but in an old weirdo being friendly kinda way. Don't worry ma, I didn't accept. The influences of the evil Stuart Costen haven't affected me too much. I did drink some beer yesterday though. Dam you Stu, dam you to hey. Plus I get free internet at this hostel; I think I may just stay here and batter Hilly at online draughts all day.

On second thoughts, I'm going to see the White house.

Bye bye, and kind regards.

Adam Marshall