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So I made my way oot of Canada eh (spot on imitation). And ended up here in New York City. It's almost too much excitement for one delightful man to take. I was so excited in fact that I required a sit down when I got here. "And where did you sit, Adam? I beg you...alas, no, I beseech you to tell me", I hear you cry. I sat here:


Well, I don't think I need explain exactly where this is, eh folks? I said 'eh folks?'. It is the instantly recognisable Tom's Restaurant which everybody reading this will know from popular U.S. comedy 'Seinfeld'. Ok, so none of you have ever seen Seinfeld. Not even James Hankins who creams himself at the very mention of Larry David's name. Oh, there he goes again.

The laughs didn't stop there. Next on the agenda was to go and see where John Lennon had his life prematurely taken at the hands of a gun and bullet. All very sad and all that, although I did see Paul McCartney having a bit of a giggle across the street. It's been over 25 years now Paul, just try forgetting it. Just across the way is a memorial garden as well. It's called Strawberry Fields. I wonder how they came up with that one.

Genuinely though, my first day in New York City was one where comedy was the common theme (today is not following that trend, if this blog entry is anything to go by). I took a trip to see the Plaza Hotel where Kevin, played by amusingly ruined human being Macaulay Culkin, stays in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York ("...and one of those little refrigerators you have to open with a key. Credit card? You got it"). For the amusement of those people familiar with the chief resident, or Derby yokels who can enjoy the name for other reasons, I also took a trip to...


I saw Donald Trump in the lobby and made him shine my shoes. Then I shaved off all of his silly hair and made him bark like a dog (in a similar way that Saskia did to Derek in Big Brother 6). Needless to say, nothing said in this paragragh is the truth.

As if the level of humour hadn't already reached its zenith, its pinacle if you prefer, I went to see a live recording of...

Again, many of you probably haven't seen this, but perhaps you've heard of mock-news program 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart'. Well the Colbert Report is a spin off from that. And yes, that is my fairy soft hand on the left. Silky.

To make my time in New York even more authentic, I have chosen to lather myself in predominently native New York music. The trend that seems to recur is that of massive bigging up of the bands' home city. Check it: Interpol with the song 'NYC', Yeah Yeah Yeahs with 'Yeah! New York', the Strokes pitch in with 'New York City Cops', and the divine Andrew WK (don't ever for one moment think that I neglected that guy) scores big with 'I Love NYC'. And for those of you not familiar with Mr WK, see this please:

Don't ever forget him. Kind regards.

Adam Marshall