You can't drink a pint of Bovril!

Spaced; Series 2, Episode 4.

If you put a T on the end of the 'Chi' in Chi-Town; you get my exact opposite opinion of Chicago. 'Chi', by the way, is pronounced 'Shy' and 'Chi-Town' is a nickname for Chicago. Although the city is a delight and I'm having a blast here, I still wanted to add the long winded profanity above for two reasons. Firstly, as a tribute to Stone Cold Steve Austin and a promo he once cut on Bret Hart ("If you put an S on the front of Hit Man..."). Secondly, I have neglected to use that particular profanity for years and years after Robert Foster told me that it wasn't proper swearing. With the amount of respect and adulation I have for the Northern Explorer himself, I decided to stop saying it to honour the brilliance of the peanut pirate.

So like I say, I'm in Chicago. I was fortunate to arrive here on St. Patrick's day, or St. Patty's day as the yanks decide to unnecessarily abbreviate it to (same amount of syllables, idiots). They go mad for it over here. Everybody seems to think that they're Irish for the day. I suppose anything is better than being American (by the way Leslee, that's me doing a joke and no cause for you not to put me up for free in your house for a couple more days). They go so mad for it they even dye the river green. I rushed down to the relevant river to check out its splendor, and...


...yea, really green, really river. Apparently they had dyed it last Saturday, a whole 6 days before the day it is supposed to ceremorate. Genius. But all was not lost. They still partied hard in the evening. And I mean hard. Put it this way, even Andrew WK would have been proud of them. Also, I drunk more Guinness than I ever have before. Mind you, I'd only ever drunk 1 pint in my past, and that was at Birmingham Academy while watching Weezer. They didn't have any bitter on tap and I didn't want to be like the commoners and drink lager (insulting the majority of readers here. Excellent. Maybe only my mother and my cousin Scott, who plausibly still favours Southern Comfort, escape my wrath), so I plumped for the black stuff. Here's the proof, and photos never lie.


I enjoyed my Guinness drinking. Everything that they say about it is true. It does taste nice. It does fill you up. It does take ages to pour. And it does produce a very unique hue of faeces. By the way, hue is a grown up word for colour. And faeces is a grown up word for...

Hilly will be potentially entertained by this next story. I was asking one of the hostel workers what there is good to do in Chicago. They told me to go and see Linkin Park. Linkin Park, I said, here in the city. Yes, they reiterated, and they gave me directions. Imagine my disappointment...


Ok, I'm off to see where some people got killed once. I'll report back soon. I bet you're DIEING to find out how it goes. Ha ha ha ha...oh.

Kind regards.

Adam Marshall