Don't believe a word this guy says about sharks; he lies. But gee, give the guy a chance when he speaks about Mongeese; he talks a whole lot of sense

What have I been up to over the last couple of days or so? Hey, what haven't I been up to more like it. Haha. Brilliant.

Back to the original question that I posed, what have I been up to over the last couple of days or so? Hey, what haven...ok, I'll stop that now. Well, I went to Pearl Harbour yesterday, the place not the film. Bloody Josh Hartnett. So it was pretty nasty and stuff. You get to stand above the U.S.S. Arizona which was sunk during the attack and the 1000+ guys on the boat at the time are still down there. Thoroughly unpleasant.

Today I found yet another thing that I'm rubbish at. Snorkeling. I'll put it on the list with golf, snooker, drawing, singing, playing the guitar, getting girls to play kissy-kiss with me, speaking German, knowing about cars, astrology, mind control, running for Government, and darts. Mind you, I did improve as I persevered. Eventually I was swimming amongst the coral (DON'T TOUCH!!!) and the fishes (DON'T EAT!!!). Also there was a shark there. And then 5 sharks attacked me. And then I killed 8 sharks. And then a shark was dying from natural causes so I saved its life. Then I killed the shark because it attacked me. Then I ate a shark. Here's a picture of me in full snorkel get up. My deepest apologies for subjecting you to it. But look at my right hand, I know all the lingo and everything. A shame the woman who took it was a horrible, bitter old trout-ette. Check it out, I do captions now...

Is that a snorkel in your mouth, or is somebody just pleased to see you?

I saw three mongooses.

This sign amused me some. The concept is one that I like a lot. It's like John Parrot's wet dream come true. I also enjoy the succinctness of the Japanese(?) translation, as if it is the most natural combination of activities. It makes you wonder whether they have a translation for 'cauliflower and brain surgery' or 'spines and brillo pads', doesn't it? Doesn't it?


Kind regards.

Adam Marshall